As a group, DAFTS are not exactly the youngest kids on the block and so far as doing our bit towards raising money to keep Darlo afloat is concerned, we're not up to sponsored walks or anything else which requires expending energy - other than perhaps Howard on his bike but that would require him to don his Lycra gear and quite frankly, that doesn't bear thinking about. Even Mr Motivator had more taste...
Therefore we're levying a beer tax on ourselves from tomorrow - £1 per pint each - to try and swell the club's coffers as well as our bladders.
And there's nothing to stop those DAFTS who are not going to the game from doing their bit - simply put £1 aside each time you go to the bar or have a pint at home.
Then send your money to the "Save Darlington FC Ltd Fund" at the Co-operative Bank between now and the end of the season. The account number is: 70930812 and the sort code is 08-90-75. Get drinking!
And be warned - next week's game at Port Vale may see an additional pork scratchings levy so stock up on your small change (and your Simvastatin tablets!).