(Under) Hill Street Blues

Another Saturday in the capital for Tony but despite playing up in north London, we first wander southwards to the tried and tested Maries where we find John W is already tucking into his breakfast.

We then catch the Northern Line from Waterloo and by chance, Brian joins our train at Leicester Square - very spooky timing - and after a while we emerge into the light and arrive at High Barnet.

(left) Welcome to Barnet

As we walk up the High Street we bump into John Bell who's lurking by the Olde Mitre - a quick peep though the window suggests that there's a underwhelming choice of beers on offer.

Recent reports on BITE suggest that this pub has improved of late but we've found it to be very disappointing on our last few visits. We'll be giving it a miss today I think.

As it's not yet noon, the first port of call is the White Lion as this is one of the few pubs in Barnet that opens early. Or it did last season. The door is shut when we arrive.

We notice that we've lost Tony and Brian somewhere on the way - by the time we call them and decide we'll go somewhere else the pub is now open. We decide to wander in for a quick one and my polite query about opening time is met with a mumble and a glare. Very friendly.

John W and I opt for the guest beer - Moles Best- which is OK-ish, possibly on it's way off, but it's difficult to tell as Moles always seems to have a distinctive tang. John B sticks to Fullers Discovery.

We don't linger long however and soon we join the others in the Lord Nelson. This is a bright airy pub that we really enjoyed last season.

It's hidden away to some degree and as a result it never seems to get too busy - certainly as far as football fans are concerned - and we arrive to find that Tony and Brian have joined Trevor.

It's a Youngs house so normally there's a choice of Ordinary, Special and Bombardier - all in excellent nick. There is a guest however and today it's Titanic Iceberg. I find this to be one of my favourite beers for session drinking - nicely tart and very more-ish.

We're later joined by Geoff, the tame Argyle fan, and then Durham Tony pops in too.

The food menu looks good though most of us are still full from breakfast. Brian isn't and he opts for the lamb shank which looks delicious. After finishing it, Brian soon falls asleep. Not a surprise.

(left) Sleeping Beauty

After a pleasant couple of hours we gird our collective loins and leave for the game, reaching Underhill just in time for kick off.

There are quite a few new faces in for Darlington - the story of the season so far - with loan signings and youth players getting a chance under Staunton.

The first half was excellent from a Darlington perspective - the team looked to have a good shape - the defence looks solid whilst Thomas and Collins up front look lively - and we have several excellent chances - one brings a great save from their keeper whilst the rest were poorly finished. Lack of practice no doubt.

Ian Miller was lost after about 30 mins after a clash of heads - Plummer came on and did well in his stead.

By the time we get to half-time it's a wonder we're not 3-0 up at least. Certainly the best half I've seen from us this season.

Darlo are out early for the second half obviously keen to get going - Barnet though are out much later and look like they've been kept in for a bollocking. If they were, it certainly worked.

The Quakers failed to keep their momentum going and after 15 mins Barnet had taken the lead through a header from a corner.

Barnet kept the pressure on and increased their lead with a breakaway through the middle though their scorer looked offside to most of us on the terraces - we were more or less in line with the backline unlike the linesman who seemed to be behind play (not for the first time).

It had to be said that the referee had an atrocious game too - not that he was to blame for the result but he was extremely poor for both sides - advantage was not given on many occasions and then bad fouls were not punished. Just as well Colin F was absent!

The tie was over a few minutes later as Darlington heads dropped and we were caught napping as a cross came in. Goodnight Vienna, Arrivederci Roma.

(left) Away entrance at Underhill

Tony, John W and Brian headed for the exits and I joined them. We'd seen enough for today.

We caught a City-bound tube with a minute to spare and headed off to the King Charles I at Kings Cross. A decent selection of brews on although sadly no Brodies - Deuchars IPA, Brains SA, Hopback Odyssey and a beer from Palmers whose beers you don't often see.

The jukebox got a bit of hammer - a wide range of music on there from old crooner Andy Williams though early Jethro Tull to classic Motorhead.

Tony was pleased to find some Neil Young whilst John and I were delighted to find one of our old favourites, Big Eyed Beans From Venus by Captain Beefheart - who can resist lyrics such as:

Men let your wallets flop out, and women open your purses

Cause a man or a woman without a big eyed bean from Venus

Is suffering with the worstest of curses

Yeah, you're suffering, with the worstest of curses.

Wonderful stuff, oh my oh my!

After a few pints Tony and John B leave to catch their trains home leaving Brian, John W and I to soldier on.

I move onto bottles of the Brodies Porter. I read the label and suddenly realise that it's over 7% which should be no surprise given my last two visits here when I've left a little worse for wear. I tread more carefully this time and sip instead of sup.

Bev joins us having just watched Chelsea demolish Blackburn 5-0 and then we're later joined by Liz and Jenny who've been up to Bury.

We discuss the arrangements for the Darlo -v- Rotherham fixture next February - train tickets will soon be on sale - and it looks like I'm being tasked with getting the tickets for the London Millers as well as the Capital Quakers. That's going to be a fun day out...

The FA Cup draw has now been made and we've been drawn away to Barnet on Sept 7th. The Lord Nelson will be our meeting place once more.

California Dreaming

The text on my phone read: "Darlo won 2-1. You are the Jinx. Stay Away. Signed Stan".

So it's now official - I'm the one to blame for our losing streak - despite missing other games and us still losing. But that's the way it is.

And sitting 5000 miles away in sunny California, I was simply pleased to hear we'd finally won a match.

I was over in Los Angeles to visit some of my colleagues in Burbank, home to the major studios such as Walt Disney, NBC, Universal and Warner Brothers.

On my first night over there I went to downtown Burbank and popped into the Gordon Biersch brew restaurant, one of a chain of bars serving US-brewed German-style beers.

There was a decent selection on offer - a soft hefeweizen (not unlike Paulaner), a couple of lagers (one light lager and one darker Bavarian-style offering), a Schwarzbier quite akin to an English porter and a seasonal offering which was an Oktober festival beer. All were very palatable - the food was good too.

On other nights when we worked late, I made do with a trip to the local supermarket, Vons, where they had a micro-brew aisle in their drinks area, and the delights of room service.

(left) Bottled brews

I tended to stick to a quartet of bottled beers - Blue Moon Belgian White, New Belgium's Flat Tire (an amber ale), Downtown Brown ale from the Lost Coast Brewery (great labels) and Stone IPA.

The Blue Moon Belgian White is actually a Coors beer but is an easy-drinking Hooegarden-lite which is an ideal thirst slaker.

All good ales and at around $3 for a 22 fl oz bottle, pretty good value as well.

One of the strangest parts of the trip was when I joined over 6.9 million Californians in the largest earthquake drill ever. Called a ShakeOut, the intention is to practice how to protect yourself during an earthquake.

Given we were on the 29th floor of a supposedly earthquake resistant building it's an interesting concept and at the designated time, an announcement came over the building tannoy and we all hundled under a desk - in our case a big desk in a meeting room - the intention being you see out the quake and then go down the stairs when it's finished. Makes our fire practices seem a bit lame in comparison.

Being true to type, I managed time to fit in a curry when we had the lunch buffet at Flavor Of India just a couple of blocks along from Gordon Biersch.

(right) Even the police like curry

The fare on offer was certainly not up to my local east-end standards but it pushed some of my buttons. The local police were there in force too - certainly beats doughnuts.

One of the highlights of the trip was meeting fellow Punishment of Luxury fan, Ged, who originally hails from Sunderland and who also once worked for the Mouse. Ged runs the site for the band and this was the first time we'd met.

Ged took me to downtown LA - not quite as glamorous as I'd imagined and more resembling the Isle of Dogs on a weekend - where we went to see Eddie Izzard play a small club as a fund raiser for a local charity.

Unfortunately we had to queue for over 40 mins in the worst weather LA had experienced all year - torrential rain - which had all the locals in a bit of a lather but was just water off a duck's back to me.

Finally inside the club, we were fortified by Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - one of the early standard bearers for the US brewery scene - and then a sparkling two-hour set from Izzard by the end of which we were thoroughly dried out.

Towards the end of the week the weather changed and it was a bit too hot for me. Perfect though for a lunchtime visit to the Disney Studio Lot to see where the Disney Magic is created.

It certainly is a happy environment - as it was lunchtime everyone was milling round outside the commissary (canteen to you and me) soaking up the sun - everyone smiling. It was quite weird for an old misery guts like me.

(left) Walt and Mickey

I had a wander round the lot including the massive sound stages where a lot of productions are put together as well as the smaller building where post-production is done. Impressive stuff.

And now I'm back in the frosty autumn and facing the dilemma of whether I should watch the game at Underhill on Saturday. Perhaps if everyone chips in and pays for me to stay in the pub?

Didn't think so, you tight gits....

NB. The text didn't actually come from Steve Staunton, dear reader, but a certain Arkwright-alike of the Darlington area.

Dagenham Daze

A bright and early 6:30am start for Tony Waters leaving Darlo but a slight lie-in for me before we meet up at Kings Cross and head over to Liverpool Street. The first point of call today is one of Tony's favourites, Rossi Restauraunt, on Hanbury Street.

Previous visits here have been followed by wins so we feel duty bound to pop in.

The menu needs barely a glance as we opt for the mixed grill-style breakfast – it has all the usual suspects plus a lamb chop and liver. A true creme de la creme of breakfastery.

Despite the photographic evidence and Tony’s odd-expression we did enjoy it. He’s just not very good at showing emotion…

(left) Tony just can't be happy today

Next stop is nearby Brick Lane - once the place to go for some rough and ready curries when I was first a young lad in the big city.

Sadly today it's a bit on the touristy side with touts trying to drag you into their restaurants.

A very shabby practice and one which rarely works.

However at this time of day it's nice and quiet and we wander into one of the major Indian supermarkets.

I'm familiar with a lot of the wares on offer after 20-odd years living in the East End but we were taken aback by the sheer number and size of some of the fish in their freezers. The calves feet looked less enticing mind…

From Aldgate East we take the District Line a few stops to Plaistow and bump into Steve Duffy on the way to the Black Lion. Steve's not had his breakfast but he ignores his hunger and goes to the pub with us – that’s the DAFTS way.

Disappointingly the Black Lion has a bit of a mediocre choice of beers - Courage Best, Adnams Bitter & Explorer and Banks Original. We stick to the Banks as none of us are great fans of Adnams.

(right) DAFTS in the Black Lion

It's not long before we're joined by John and Bev plus Bev's Chelsea mate, Dave, who also has a soft spot for the Daggers. We allow him to sit with us – we’re good like that.

Last weekend we were wondering who the new manager would be and today we know who it is - "Stan" Staunton, and assistant Kevin Richardson. It's fair to say Staunton's appearance is a bit of a surprise to all of us but we're slightly reassured that he's joined by Richardson who seems to be well regarded as a coach.

Another surprise is the signing of Noel Whelan, a former team-mate of Stan’s, in an effort to bolster our Goals For column.

Tony tells us Whelan last played a professional game for Dunfermline Athletic in 2006 and who has recently left Harrogate Town as apparently he was deemed unfit. I'm afraid it seems a desperate move but hold back the cynicism and wait to be proved wrong. It wouldn't be the first time in matters relating to Darlo.

Iain and Paul join us for the last hour or so and the debate goes on. The Irish landlord joins in – like many of his countrymen he was underwhelmed with Staunton's tenure as Ireland boss but wishes him and us luck for the day. Maybe we all need to be kissing the Blarney Stone as well?

As we pass 2pm, Iain and Paul leave to drive to Dagenham and give a lift to John, Bev and Dave. We three slowly finish our drinks and wander up to Plaistow tube where we miss catching a Barking train by seconds.

The next train is a bit of a wait and we have more of a wait at Barking for the replacement bus service. We've already missed kick-off by the time we arrive at Dagenham East and it’s 3:25pm by the time we arrive at the ground. Steve and Tony get updates on the phone and we hear we're already 2-0 down.

At the away end we find all the turnstiles are shut. A steward helpfully tells us we can't come in and we have to go to turnstile 1.

We duly wander back there where we told we can pay there but have to go back to the away end for entry.

(left) The new away end - the closest we got to the game

And then a rare piece of common sense kicks in and we realise that the chances of a Darlo comeback are slim to none and we should beat a sensible retreat to the local pub.

This also meant we missed seeing Howard who was cycling to the game and thus we were spared the sight of an elderly man in cycling lycra...

The Eastbroook is a fairly decent pub full of your average east-ender types – it’s a Greene King pub which normally puts me off but they had a small beer festival on with some barrels behind the bar. We had a pint of something-or-other and it was very tasty.

(left) Tony and Steve outside the Eastbrook

Steve still hadn’t had any food other than pork scratchings so we opt to visit Brook Pie and Mash shop a few yards away. No joy – they’ve run out of pies! We couldn’t Adam and Eve it.

Obviously Dagenham has precious little to offer us today so we hightail it back to Barking – abd a quick stop at the local Wimpy for Steve to fuel up – before heading back into town.

We wander to our new find, the King Charles I, just a few minutes from Kings Cross. It’s very quiet but has some good beers from Brodies - today we have the choice of their English Best or the Californian.

And for Steve they have Brains SA – you can’t escape Cardiff totally!

We have a good chat with the landlord and catch up on the history of the pub. It’s got a decent jukebox so we play that for a while.

Tony and then Steve leave to catch their respective train and bus back home. I should really go too as I have to be up at 7am the next day for my flight to LA.

Instead I get chatting to Jamie Brodie, who brews the beers with his sister and who just happens to live round the corner, and discuss the merits of his California beer – the landlord and I like it but think it tastes a bit thin for a 5.3% beer. Not surprisingly Jamie disagrees.

I have a few pints of their bottled porters and then wander off to meet Liz at Kings Cross and finally head off home – a little worse for wear and apparently I kept repeating myself. Moi?

Giving It All Away

For the first time in many a month, there were the old quartetback together and travelling to a game - Martin, Howard, Chris and myself - and overall we were quite positive. Martin still predicting a win, especially so as he thought we played really well against Rochdale.

Quite a pleasant journey until we hit a red light and ended up being held in Northallerton station - apparently the high cross winds meant speed restrictions were in place (though that didn't stop trains in the other direction).

It later turns out that a couple of northbound trains had a little bump in Darlington station and so all trains were sharing the southbound platform. Very annoying as this was eating into our valued drinking time!

The Quaker House was ringing to the sound of little bells when we got there - a side (the collective term apparently) of Morris dancers had more or less taken over all the tables with themselves and their baggage with no thought to other pub users - thankfully they all departed after one beer leaving the place to the usual Saturday regulars.

A good choice of beers as usual - Titanic's Last Porter Call, Hoskin's White Dolphin, Consett Brewery Blast, Black Dog Whitby Abbey, Salopian Maori, Everard's Equinox and York Decade.

Having had the Maori at the recent Darlo festival, I went for the White Dolphin - very nice and refreshing. After a couple of those I tried the Titanic Porter - a wonderful pint, full bodied and packed with flavour.

I was joined by John and Brian - and then Trevor making one of his rare visits to a home game. Perhaps he'd bring some luck?

As is traditional we moved on up to Number Twenty-2 for a change of scenery - some decent beers as ever, the best of which was probably the Bradfield Stout which certainly seems to have improved from earlier tastings.

I wandered into reception on arrival at the Arena - there's very few familiar faces here now but I have a quick chat with Eric Laycock and Andrew Wilkinson of the Evening Gazette.

(right) The 'new' Tinshed - not very busy

Not surprisingly the main topic of conversation is the identity of the new manager - according to rumour Mark Proctor seems to be the name doing the rounds. No doubt we'll see if this is true...

And so to the game. After Martin had given such a positive report from the Rochdale game, it was if another team had come out in their stead.

Our play was hesitant from the outset and it was Macc made most effort to take a hold on the game - and after 15 mins, Jeff Smith did just that for them.

A Macc attack down the left flank saw the ball come across the box to Smith - whilst attempting to guide it away for a corner he put it past Hoult and into the net. Oh calamity!

There's a part of you that seems to be numb to such things and it's just as well as things didn't get any better for the remainder of the half as Macc had chances to double or treble the score but didn't have the gumption to do even that.

It was a different story in the second half - OK, still a bit of defensive frailty but we were creating chances in front of goal but were as abject as the Silkmen were in the first-half.

Devitt had mercurial periods, Curtis Main hit the woodwork and then spurned another good chance - Gall too - and I dare say we could have played all night and still not scored.

The frustration of our performance was exacerbated by the presence of some young fans in the boxes behind us.

They were waving their Darlo flags with gusto and screeching their little heads off. OK, full marks for enthusiasm but it was like fingernails on a blackboard.

(left) The fans of tomorrow - can't wait for their voices to break

And with the final whistle we trudged back to the station - on arrival the two Johns, Bell and Wilson, jump on the first train south leaving me to wait for Martin and Howard. The train is about 15 mins late which is not brilliant but could certainly be worse.

The journey passes without incident - a couple of Stevenage fans leave behind a programme from their draw at Kit Kat Crescent so Martin and I have a read. Not brilliant - £3 and loads of adverts. Interesting though to see that Lance's old favourite, McGurk, is still plying his trade there.

We all miss going to York for a game - one of our favourite cities for a day out - but the way we're playing these days we could well be going there next season.

At Kings X, Liz and Jenny were patiently waiting - flush after their late winner at Gresty Road - and we took a short walk to a new pub, King Charles I.

(left) Kings Charles I - well worth a visit

The main reason I wanted to call in here was that I'd heard it served Brodies beers - this is a new-ish brewery in Leyton, East London - and they've been getting rave reviews but I'd yet to try them.

There were about four hand-pumps - Deuchars IPA plus three from Brodies. All the Brodies were off as there was some problem in the cellar. However they had a barrel of Brodies Mild on the bar and though it was a tad warm it was very tasty - very tasty.

And the first pint was free after the barman noticed my Mastodon t-shirt - he's clearly a fellow of great taste as well. The pub itself has a heavy rock jukebox - none of this R'n'B rubbish - and a young vibe without being annoying to we older folk.

I finished the night with a bottle of the Brodies Porter which is sublime - we're definitely coming back here soon if this is what they have on offer - the next time probably after the Barnet game at the end of the month...