Brass Monkeys in Steel City

Taking a leaf out of Dagenham & Redbridge's book, I travelled by first class to Sheffield where Brian and Trevor were patiently waiting for me. Unfortunately a staffing crisis at Olympic Ministores meant Tony wouldn't be joining us for an extended pre-match session. I bet Mr Tesco is always having this problem...

My trip today was going to involve a few firsts - and this started immediately as we board the Sheffield Supertram.

There has been some debate in recent years on introducing trams back to London - if they're as empty as the one we took then I'd be happy. Somehow I doubt they would be though. And no doubt there'd be chaos on the roads for years.

(left) Supertram leaving Shalesmoor

Our first calling point was the Wellington - just a hundred yards or so beyond Shalesmoor tram stop.

It's a cracking pub that reminds me of the Wenlock Arms in many respects - a great range of beers, some excellent scratchings, a lived-in feel plus a pub dog which will hoover up those scratching we dropped (though the landlord complains that he's the one who has to get up in the small hours when they make the dog sick).

Whilst Brian and Trev went for pints of Millstone's Baby Git, I decided to go for the 5% Keystone Hops from the Weatheroak Brewey. This turned out to be a full-flavoured hoppy beer, not a surprise, which belied it's strength and was very easy to drink.

Although we were well settled here, we headed over to Kelham Island and my first visit to the famous Fat Cat. This has now become the new base pub for the London Millers when attending home games and it is a nice little pub though currently surrounded by scaffolding.

What is to say about this place other than it has a great range of beers and what looks to be a very hearty menu. We just had more scratchings.

After another couple of pints, we walked round the corner to the Kelham Island Tavern - another famous pub.

Looking slightly more refurbished than the Fat Cat, we were faced with another impressive range of beers. And a barman who kept calling us "love" - very Dick Emery...

Conversation was slighly stifled when we noticed the sign asking patrons not to swear otherwise they'd have to leave the premises!

Don't they know that swearing is both big and clever?

Before we caught the tram towards the Don Valley stadium, we returned for a final pint at the Wellington.

The temperature had dropped dramatically and it was bloody freezing - Brian muttering that it was too cold to watch football and threatening to miss the game and go home instead.

As the tram drove through Sheffield, we were joined by young turk and former travelling companion, Chris Stockdale, who was late arriving.

Trev and Chris went onto the stop for the away end whilst Brian and I got off at Attercliffe in order to have a final pint at the Cocked Hat. The place was full of Darlo fans and our new chum, the Gloryhunter.

I tried to get some beers but they don't serve real ale on matchdays as it take too long - doesn't stop them pouring Guinness though does it? I take a perverse turn and order a G&T as the beer choice on keg was less than inspiring.

Spencer and I were having a good chat until we realised the game had been going for ten minutes and we'd better get in. I made the long walk to the away end - the DVS looking impressive from the outside but the view when I'd finally found a seat in the upper tier was a tad distant. Apparently it's a lot better from the home end which is scant consolation.

A fairly even first half with some early Rotherham pressure but not a lot of excitement to keep us warm. For the second half I moved to the lower tier to join Chris and Martin.

Darlo managed to restrict the Millers forward line whilst still creating chances of our own. We got a bit of a scrambled goal from Ravenhill and for the final third, we worked hard and restricted the Millers to just a few chances.

Given the freezing conditions, the final whistle was more than welcome and we rushed out of the ground to find where Martin had parked is car.

Not surprising I slept for most of the drive back to London and it didn't seem too long before Martin dropped us off in Hammersmith where I was able to thaw out in my office. Time to dig out the thermal long johns at this rate.

Glory, Glory

Despite having the usual big breakfast before our train left King's Cross, my first task on arriving into Darlo was to get the pies in.

Many years ago when we were at Feethams, no one really thought about taking your own pie to the game. They were there - with peas and chips too.

Sadly the pies at the Arena are pretty poor fare and have been for a while - generally heated through to a crisp so that the pastry crumbles into dust.

And in Darlington there's only one pie purveyor to consider - H Taylors and sons. So it's steak and kidney for Colin and me, mince pie for Martin and a corned beef slice to take back for my tea on Monday!

The town clock strikes 11am and so onto the Quaker Cafe for the first beer of the day. Landlord Steve is in his Sunderland shirt - eagerly awaiting the Tyne-Wear derby in a couple of hours time.

I opt for what is said to be the first carbon-neutral beer, East Green from Adnams, and it's not a bad drop.

At this point I'm joined by Spencer, the Gloryhunter, who I briefly met at Wycombe last week. He's spent his first week in Darlo so he probably deserves a drink.

Before too long, Colin Fletcher arrives and after a little prompting, outlines the finer points of Subbuteo to Spencer who is showing more interest than is good for him.

We move onto Number Twenty-2 where Paul Brown and Iain Swalwell are already ensonced. I also bump into my old chum Paul Walker.

Paul and I first met in the Brian Little era - I'd put an advert in Mission Impossible asking for lifts to games from London - Paul was my only reply.

Paul now lives in Scotland and so gets to fewer games - today he has a bunch of his Scottish mates in tow - they don't always bring us luck.

Station Taxis were their usual efficient selves and before long we're all at the Arena, Spencer wandering off to try and find where the club have left his ticket. It's easy to see that this glory hunting lark isn't as easy as it sounds.

(left) No gratuitous shot of floodlights so the town clock will have to do

The game was a bit of a mis-match - despite their elevated league position, Dagenham looked much as they did at the end of last season - almost without hope - and Darlo should really have beaten them by more goals than the final 3-0 scoreline.

As usual, the Dagenham & Redbridge party, directors as well, travelled to the game by train - however they're not looking quite as happy when we last saw them in May. This season it seems they're travelling first class. Not for much longer if their slide down the table continues.

After shifting some itinerant Jock students from our reserved seats, we were pestered by some Glasvegas fans from Dunfermline who wanted to share their Buckfast and their wit- all very stereotypical but true nonetheless. You'll not be surprised to hear we declined...

Atfer what seemed like hours, we're back at King's Cross and I'm off to the Doric Arch for a final few beers - the London Millers in the form of Liz, Jenny and Chris joining me later on. The pub has a full set of guest beers for a change - the Taylor's Landlord is on good form so maybe there's hope for this place yet.

Late Sickener

Wycombe is a really friendly club and were recognised as such when they awarded the accolade of being the League Two Family Club of the Year.

Denvil and his colleagues on reception epitomise this as they can't do enough as they escort me to the press room at the side of the tunnel so that I can sign in.

Declining a cuppa, I head straight out onto the pitch just a few minutes before kick off.

As I setup my gear I notice the Gloryhunter - resplendent in a brand new Darlo shirt - is coming along the touchline towards the away end. For some reason he eats a blade of grass - they're a bit odd these southerners.!

One of the nice things about Adams Park is that if the football is a bit ropey, I can watch the kites as they soar over the ground - a wonderful site for elderly ornithologists like me.

Today though the skies went unwatched as Darlo were on top form and were constantly taking the game to the Chairboys. Despite some smart play, it remained 0-0 at half-time.

During the break, I have a quick chat with the Gloryhunter who was unimpressed with the jobsworth stewards making a fuss when he dares to film in front of the away stand - get used to it, mate!

The second half sees Darlo continue to apply pressure - Wycombe looking nothing like a table-topping side - and we're rewarded after a sweet finish from Ginger Geezer, Jason Kennedy.

To add to the excitement, each side had a player sent off - Tim Ryan for us who really should know better. A Wycombe player also takes an early bath, apparently for hitting his own player. Now that IS stupid!

As the 90th minute approaches we look as if we'd keep Wycombe at bay but the announcement of six minutes of additional time gives the opposition hope. Hatch loses possession and carrot-top Harrold is felled by Foster as he looses his footing in the box - something Harrold is prone to do according to some Wycombe fans. No matter - the tackle was unfortunate and we pay the price.

After the game both sets of players warm down - the Darlo players look as if we've lost - I'm sure we'd have been happy with a point before the game but this was a true sickener.

(left) Obligatory shot of a floodlight - very autumnal

Once Paul has completed his photographic duties we head back to London and a pint in the Doric Arch. Onlywe don't as it's closed so we take refuge in the Euston Flyer.

The place is full of smug Arsenal fans (are there any other type?) and crap loud music.

As ever it's been an enjoyable day but it could have been so, so much better.

High-Ho to Wycombe

Breakfast was taken in the relative tranquil environs of Marylebone station - well, tranquil compared to Kings Cross anyway. Hidden away from the main Edgware Road, this small station is more more relaxed than the larger London termini.

I met my photographer chum and Wycombe fan, Paul, for breakfast at Gino's Coffee Bar just outside the station - quite a nice little place but I was rather dischuffed to find they'd forgotten my black pudding. Not a good start...

On arrival at High Wycombe, I head for the Belle Vue which has been our pub of choice for many seasons now.

Lance arrived just before the doors opened at noon - he said he wasn't coming today but he bought some tickets after he'd come back home all beered up!

The pub is handy for the station but is not on the right side of town for the football ground. Perhaps that's why it appeals to us.

A decent choice of four ales are on offer - Everards Equinox, Old Hooky from Hook Norton, Jennings Cocker Hoop and Wychcraft from the Wychwood Brewery.

Not as many DAFTS on parade today as were at Luton for our last game - John Bell has come over from Chester, Paul Brown has driven up from Guildford and Tony G is down for the weekend from Durham.

It's not long before we start to have a heated debate about why Lance can go without a fag in the pub for 90 mins but can't manage that at football. Given his jinx-type tendencies, I think it best if we just keep him in the pub.

As we leave Lance in the pub with his final pint before he returns to Brum, we trust to Paul's GPS to get us to Adams Park.

Oktoberfest @ Hoopers Bar

Yet another pub festival is on this weekend as down in darkest East Dulwich, Hoopers Bar are having an Oktoberfest which runs from Friday 17th to Sunday 19th October.

On offer will be draught Munich-brewed Paulaner Oktoberfestbier, served in authentic German Steins.

There'll also be a range of unusual bottled beers including examples of Trappist & Abbey ales from Westverltren and St Bernardus, Bavarian smoked beer, Czech and Polish examples of Pilsner and more.

And of course there is English real ale including the first offering ofthis season's Harvey's Old Ale.
There will also be two themed dishes, including bratwurst sausages, throughout the weekend in addition to the normal menu.

We'll be there on Sunday - see you at the bar.

Sad to say that I had a dose of the can't-be-arsed-to-go-to-South-London on Sunday morning and we never made it to Hoopers - no doubt the disappointment of the late equaliser at Wycombe.

7th Piglet

A reminder to London-types that there will be another Piglet festival - the 7th - at Leyton Orient Supporters Club on Thurs 16 and Fri 17 October.

Originally devised to fill a gap in the ELAC calendar when the Pig's Ear was without a venue for a couple of years, this festival is now an annual event.

There is always a fine array of about 30 beers (and the odd cider) from around the country on offer and the prices are extremely reasonable - unlike some of the pub festivals I've been to recently in west London - and the rolls are also great value.

On Friday the club will be presented with CAMRA's National Club of the Year Award - fully deserved - many congratulations to them.

Hats off to Blundell

It's a few years now since we were last at Kenilworth Road so on leaving the pub we followed the crowd - as we came towards Sainsburys I was getting worried that we'd end up doing a weekly shop but we soon got our bearings.

(left) Kenilworth Road cheek by jowl with local houses

We made our way down the alley to the Oak Road Stand where the away fans are housed - we'd expected a stiff admission price but £22!

And then £3 for a programme and £3 for a pie? Pity the poor home fans who have to pay these prices for every home game.

These are certainly the dearest admission prices I've come across this season - in stark contract to Dagenham which was £16 on the day (and £14 in advance)

It later transpired that there had been advance £20 tickets available from the ticket office at Darlo but due to minimal publicity very few people knew about them and only 32 were sold.

I love the fact that houses and gardens are tucked in right behind the away end - seems very quaint though I'm not sure the local residents feel that way.

If you're anything over five feet tall, then you'll find the away seating a tad tight. I'm not the tallest person in the world but there was no room to stretch my little legs.

However one of the advantages of the more traditional ground is proximity to the pitch - so much closer than my perch up in the south stand. It allowed John Wilson full rein to continue his abuse of Luton keeper, Conrad Logan, carrying on from where he left off after last season's game at Saltergate (and before that a prolonged tirade at Boston).

The game itself was quite a tight affair - both teams going for it - and it struck me that Luton were always keen to get the ball back into play and go for goal.

In the last 15 minutes of so, Darlo upped the pressure - a wonderful run from Rob Purdie saw his shot clip the bar and Hatch went close with a header.

And just as we seem destined for a draw, Kennedy pushed the ball to Blundell and the Scouser whipped it into the net.

There were still a few anxious moments but we rode our luck and although Luton didn't deserve to lose, I felt we deserved three points for the way we played.

There has been talk of a new 20,000 seater stadium close to the M1 for the Hatters but it seems that there is no firm plans in place. It may be lacking some TLC but Kenilworth Road has a great atmosphere and I for one would like to see the club remain in Luton and not end up like Oxford, stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Open Up!

We meet John at the St Pancras International station and boarded the 11:03 north - Steve was on-board too but we didn't meet him until we actually arrived at Luton.

(left) Tarmac your drive, missus?

In typical fashion, Lance had already been there since 10:30pm.

The Bricklayers' Arms is just a short walk from the station but unfortunately it doesn't open until noon - in common with far too many pubs these days in my humble opinion - and so we hung around looking kind of shifty until it did.

There was a decent choice of beer when we finally crossed the threshold - Everards Beacon and Tiger look to be the regular offerings plus three or four guest ales. We tried a pint of something from Westoe but it was a bit tired and past it's best. I moved onto the Mendip Mammoth which was a cracking session beer and kept me happy for the rest of the session.

The pub soon started to fill up - though I doubt it was for the MK Dons -v- Carlisle game on Sky.

Former Quaker Danny Graham put the Cumbrians ahead but it wasn't long before we were subjected to the gurning features of MK Dons chairman Pete Winkelman as the MK Dons won 3-1.

There is supposed to be another decent real-ale boozer not far from here, the English Rose, but we were so settled we decided to stay put until it was time for the game. Maybe next time - if there is a next time....

Off to Beds

It was nice to be back in the saddle again - last Saturday saw me miss the home game against Shrewsbury in order to see the mighty Killing Joke at the London Forum - not the best gig of theirs that I've seen but still well worth missing the game for.

Tony was coming south for this game so I meet up with him at King's Cross - and then about 15 mins later his Dad also arrived.

We took a stroll along towards Euston, heading in the direction of Eversholt Street and one of my favourite breakfasteries, the Double Six Cafe.

The cafe is very close to Transformation, a shop where the man who fancies the most severe of life-style changes can get himself some new breasts. I'd suggest the food at the Double Six would soon have the same affect...

I went for No 2 plus additional portions of black pudding and chips - a proper weekend blowout that really hit the spot.

Tony made the point that he'd never come across breakfasts with chips until he'd seen them in London. The same for me too but once you've been bitten by the breakfast chip bug, they're hard to resist when they're as crisp and golden as these little beauties.

Having about 40 mins to spare before catching our train to Befordshire, we had a quick shufti around the British Library - Ray was interested to see where his tax were being spent on we southerners! Very impressive it was too...

You Must Have Come In A Taxi

Yes, we did, thank you for asking!

Due to being one cab short for a few minutes - containing the one driver who knew the way - our convoy of taxis departed Plaistow slightly later than anticipated but it wasn't long before we were speeding east along the A13.

And the timing was more or less perfect - the whistle blew for kick off as we made our way through the turnstiles.

(left) London Millers

Rather than rush to the terrace like young novices, most of us went for a quick visit to the gents before hitting the burger bar.

Now the burgers at Dagenham are the best I've ever had at any football ground - and have been for quite a few seasons now - the chips were also well-cooked and a wonderful golden colour - not like the insipid undercooked fries sold elsewhere. It's about the best substitute for the much-missed fabled catering from Aggbrough that we're likely to get these days.

What can I say about the game? Well given that my team wasn't playing, it was OK and the teams were evenly matched - no doubt some of the London Millers will have their rose-tinted specs on and disagree but a draw was a fair result. I won't say anymore or I'll risk upsetting her indoors.

The game was enthralling...

The journey back towards central London via the replacement bus service was fairly painless - much less hassle than they normally are. We rejoined the District Line at Barking and a group of us decided we'd have post-match beers at one of my favourite pubs, the Palm Tree in Mile End.

The Palm Tree stands alone in a stretch of Mile End Park - the pub is all that remains of what was Haverfield Road.

The family-run pub is a delight - the main bar being quite dark and displaying photos of club turns from the past - you won't recognise many faces on display here.

(left) Palm Tree

There are usually two real ales on offer - always different - and on this visit it was the Mauldon's Mid Autumn Gold plus one other which I forget the name of.

Most of us stuck to the Mauldon's - very lively, taking several attempts to pour but it was exceptionally drinkable.

The hours slipped by and the place got busier and finally the Saturday night jazz band got under way with standards such as "Moon River" and "Fly Me To The Moon" - very trad. Close to 11pm we made the sensible decision to go home.

A visit to the Palm Tree offers the perfect opportunity to get some of the best fish and chips in London from the Brittania Fish bar on nearby Grove Road. And opposite the chippy is the Victoria pub which is run by former boxer Charlie Magri. The interior is all leather armchairs and boxing memorabilia - very interesting stuff but unfortunately for fussy buggers like me they only do keg beer.