(Barely) Alive and Kicking

A very relaxed journey north today - Chris was travelling with us but a late addition to the trip was his fiancee, Suzy, so they'd got seats together in coach G rather than sit with us in coach F. The good thing was this meant there were no arguments about Big Bad Baldy Bazza Conlon.

Instead Martin could get on with his pools selection -aided by his pile of out-of-date newspapers - whilst I listened in to the podcasts of comic duo, Trevor and Simon, which I'd recently come across.

(left) The gang in the Quaker

Although the pair - known for swinging their pants and not doing duvets - were thought of as kids entertainers on Saturday morning TV, I'd always liked them. Far too good for children.

Suitably amused, we arrived slightly early at Bank Top which meant I was pastried up and in the QuakerHouse before the town clock had struck 11:30am.

Beers on today included: Oakleaf Bitter and Pompey Royal from the Oakleaf Brewery, Bread of Heaven from Brains, Manx Pride from Bushy's, Matchlock Mild and Brickdust from Martson Moor, Odins Raven and Dual Hop from Rudgate plus a golden ale from Atlas.

And on parade today were Trevor, John W, Bev, Tony and John B. The latter was here against his better judgment - his back was playing up but he came in the belief that the pain of the game would mask that of his ailing back. You really shouldn't jest about such things.

Of the beers, the one from the Atlas bewery plus the Dual Hop, Matchlock Mild, Brickdust and the Manx Pride all impressed.

Also impressed was my old chum, Ken the ticker from Durham - who I'd meet a few weeks ago in the Newcastle Arms - he was making a rare foray to the Quaker and was delighted as he'd get five ticks from the selection today. That's pretty darn good in the ticking world.

In Number Twenty-2, in addition to the usual suspects there were a few other decent ales: Monty's Firkin from the Magpie Brewery, Decade from the York Brewery and Warlock Stout from Houston.

(right) A pint of stout separates John and Trev

The stout was very good - one of the best Iwe've had recently and worthy of more time but before we knew it our taxis had arrived.

One of the first aspects of today's game that was just a bit worrying was the referee - we never seem to do well when we have the diminutive Mr Mathieson in charge and he's certainly been on the end of some of my more sweary shouts in the past.

But today he didn't really put a foot wrong - unlike Darlo.

And it didn't take long to all go wrong - after just ten minutes Darlo allowed Torquay two attempts at goal following a corner and the ball was knocked past Redmond through a fairly static back line.

And that was it - the remainder of the half was a very grim affair - it was clear that Torquay were as poor as we were and it was not pleasant to watch. Alan White received a long, drawn-out talking to from the ref but did not produce a card which surprised most of us.

Then just as we were looking forward to the half-time break, Torquay doubled their lead somewhat fortuitously - the Torquay man evaded our defence fairly easily but his shot dribbled in. It was one of those days - we seem to have more than our fair share of such days.

The second half brought some hope of improvement after Curtis Main (sponsored by the Capital Quakers of course) was given an open goal - in fact the chance was so easy it seemed to take him by surprise before he reacted and stabbed it home.

But overall Main's performance was underwhelming and Guy Branston had probably the easiest afternoon for quite a few weeks. If Main put as much effort into fighting for the ball as he did moaning that he'd been man-handled then he might have got more out of the game.

My worry is that Curtis Main is not a natural striker - he has the nasty coloured boots befitting of a star forward but he seems to lack a battling desire to get to the ball first. Perhaps when he was a big lad amongst his peers a few years ago it was all too easy for him. I fear he is not the bright young star many hope he is (and I do hope I'm wrong). Tony W agrees - which must be a first for us both.

There was a respectable turnout of Torquay fans who were in good voice throughout - as you would expect if you're winning a long away from home.
There was no sign of their most famous fan, Helen Chamberlain, presenter and mainstay of Sky's Soccer AM.

However her absence won't prevent me from posting a picture of her and I at a Coca-Cola Football League PR event a few seasons ago.

(left) Torquay's fairest fan

Unfortunately in this shot I'm holding the wrong end of her but rest assured that I did originally start further up (if you know what I mean). She's a lovely lass - very genuine.

For some reason she thought I resembed Bomber from Auf Weidersen, Pet!

The Gulls fans were delirious when the final whistle blew - we were simply resigned to our fate. Not that we weren't already resigned to the drop but the manner of the last three defeats means that it looks like the players have given up too.

Trev and I trudged back to the station - always a depressing walk but even worse after a defeat - but at least all our trains were on time. Our train was full of Geordies full of their 6-1 defeat against Barnsley - the Tykes fans themselves were rather quiet, bemoaning the sending off of their keeper.

On arrival back in London I popped over to St Pancras and met up with Liz and Jenny in the Betjemans Arms for a few nightcaps and then it was time to wend our weary ways home...